It had been a long day, and I was tired of traveling. My head hurt, my legs were aching, and the fuel pump at this particular station refused to cough up my receipt. Now I had to spend precious time, all two minutes of it, to brave the smoky gas station, wait in a slow line, and get my receipt from an attendant that wasn’t as friendly as the pump outside!
It was at this point that one of my sons misbehaved. I don’t recall what he did; I only remember how I reacted. This was the last straw, and I let him have “what for!”
I raised my voice, pointed my finger, and let him have it. Now, there is no doubt that he needed help, and he deserved a scolding. But the scalding scolding I delivered was all about making me feel better and nothing about helping my son act better.
There we were, in front of God, the gas pump, and anyone with an ear to hear. My son got back in the car, and I stomped off toward the long, smoky line with the receipt waiting at the end.
As I headed for the station door, I could see that I was on a trajectory that would be intercepted by another customer also angling for the door. It was becoming clearer by the second that we would meet at the door. It was also clear that he was looking at me and closing in fast, like a Patriot missile ready to intercept a Scud.
I should have known better than to make eye contact. Now he was locked on and within voice range. “Are you Wil Rice?” he asked. Oh…no!
I wanted to deny it. I am good at letting others see me at my best. I am also good at acting my worst before those who matter the most: my family. But here I was with the curtain pulled back on a real-life family drama. I wasn’t play acting; I was acting poorly as a father.
What if everyone saw you the way your kids see you? Proverbs 20:7 says, “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” Who is this “just man,” and why does it matter?
In Proverbs 20:7, the just man is named. That is, the just man is the name of a class of people. In the context of this Proverb, a person is identified by God in reference to that person’s character! Think of all the characters identified in the book of Proverbs: the Fool, the Wise, the Scorner, the Prudent, the Simple, and so on.
We wish to be identified to others by our alma mater, our denomination, our occupation, our income, or our regional and cultural distinctions. For example, I might be eager for you to know that I am a fourth-generation Baptist from the great state of Tennessee. This is all true, and I am truly thankful that it is. But I don’t think God is impressed if I am not first of all a man of character.
In Proverbs 20:7, the just man is also described. How is he described? God describes him by his walk, his course of life.
Positionally, I am a child of God by faith in Christ. That, of course, is what is most important. But equally influential to the destinies of my children is what I am practically. My children cannot see my standing in God’s family, but they are keenly aware of my actions in my own home!
A just person is defined here by his walk, or, his actions. His walk is one of integrity. This Old Testament word means to be innocent, complete, and simple.
Integrity then, means to live “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” The truth is simpler than a lie. I am only one person, not two or three, and that is to be demonstrated consistently before my family in situations both private and public.
Am I true to my word? Do my actions match my words?(Verse 6) Am I true in my work? (verses 10 and 23) Am I true in my relationships? (Verse 19) Are you?
Finally, in Proverbs 20:7, the just man is revealed. How? “His children are blessed after him.” I should not expect to see virtues in my children that they do not see in me. What an encouragement to know that a life of integrity will bless those who follow me long after my life is done!
None of us is always, perfectly consistent. But any of us can own up when we are not, pick ourselves up when we fall, and look up to the God Who provides.
What if everyone saw you the way your family does? Perhaps they will. Live well before your children, because they will have the last word.