Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Give It Your Best Argument
If you have ever gotten into a yelling match with someone, a couple things are obvious. One, it is not much fun. Two, it is not very quiet. Three, it is not very productive. Just because I say something louder, does not mean someone else is hearing it better. In fact, sometimes the louder I proclaim something, the less inclined the person I am speaking to is to hear what I have to say. That is because sometimes a soft answer is your strongest argument. People aren’t so much persuaded by what I say as they are by how I say it. The attitude and spirit with which I speak are very important.
Proverbs 15:1 says it this way, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” The Bible is not advocating a mindless or gutless answer, but an attitude that has a sense of humility. Verse 2 says, “The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright.” Such a person doesn’t just have knowledge, but the wisdom to know how to use what he knows. It continues, “But the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” A person with knowledge is no match for the person who knows how to use it. Sometimes we have a lot of facts, but we don’t know how to use them well. Using them well means applying them accurately and in such a way that people will listen to them.
The Bible has a lot to say about what we say and how we say what we say. It doesn’t matter how nicely I say something if what I am saying is false. Anything that is right is worth saying well. It should come from a heart of humility and with an intention to help the person to whom I am speaking.
Proverbs 15:28 says, “The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” Think first; then speak. We owe people thoughtful consideration, not always an answer. Sometimes we feel compelled to give an immediate answer even when we do not have an answer. The key to gaining someone’s ear is not to say more; it is to think more and speak better.
Sometimes, a soft answer is your strongest argument. Next time you find yourself in a yelling match with someone, just stop talking for a moment. Make sure you know what you are responding to and what the question or argument is. Then ask God to help you accept the truth, to speak the truth however difficult that may be, and to speak it with the right attitude.