Judges 12:1 And the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and went northward, and said unto Jephthah, Wherefore passedst thou over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didst not call us to go with thee? we will burn thine house upon thee with fire.
We have all know people who feel entitled. Every conversation you have with them is redirected back toward themselves. For instance, if you bump into them in the morning and say, “Hey, my knee hurts this morning,” they would say, “Well, my knees hurt and my shoulder hurts also.” If you have some good thing that happened you might say, “Hey, I got a check for a thousand dollars!” They would reply, “I got a new Corvette.” If you’ve done something noble and you say, “I helped my grandma across the street,” they will tell you how they saved their entire high school from a bomb threat years ago.
In short, it is hard for them to rejoice with those who rejoice, to weep with those who weep, or to congratulate those who have accomplished something because everything revolves around them. They feel entitled, as if they have the title of ownership to everything that is good. To be entitled means “to have the right to a benefit or privilege.” That is where all of us are by nature. We feel like we are entitled to everything.
Ephraim was a son of Joseph. His name meant “to be fruitful.” He was especially blessed by Jacob, Joseph’s father. He received a special blessing in Genesis 48. He became a great and wealthy tribe with some of the most valuable land in all of Canaan. But, as you look at Ephraim throughout the books of Joshua and Judges, you find that this was a tribe that never seemed to be happy. They always come off as self-absorbed, discontent, and eager to shift blame to somebody else. Everything was about them.
Finally, in Judges 12 they confronted someone who was not going to put up with it anymore. They had been entitled and self-absorbed with Joshua and Gideon. Gideon had been very gracious to them and was quite the diplomat so that their pride was placated. But, they finally picked on a man named Jephthah whom God had used to defeat the enemies of Israel. Jephthah would have none of it.
This is the way it goes down in Judges 12:1, “ And the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and went northward, and said unto Jephthah, Wherefore passedst thou over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didst not call us to go with thee? we will burn thine house upon thee with fire.” These Ephraimites, instead of being glad and grateful that they had been spared an enemy because of the bravery of Jephthah, whined, “Why didn’t you call us?” When God had given victory through someone else, their pride was hurt.
Jephthah goes on to say, “I did call you, and you didn’t help. God delivered me anyway. Why are you coming up against me today?” Ephraim replies with an insult about Jephthah’s humble beginnings. They were totally absorbed with themselves.
At first, when I read this I was literally angry with Ephraim. I think I was angry with Ephraim because I know people like this and by extension I was angry with people I have known. Finally, I thought to myself, “What about me?” All of us can identity this in other people. It is much harder to see this in ourselves, yet I would say this is the default of human nature. Do you find yourself saying, “I deserve to be the heir”? We can’t rejoice with those that rejoice because we have to be the person who is gaining something good. We can’t weep with those who weep because no matter how much calamity someone else is facing, we always have a greater calamity. We can’t congratulate someone for doing something heroic because in some way that might minimize us. Such people are never happy, never thankful, and never content. They always redirect every conversation toward themselves, and they can’t imagine what it would be like to be someone else with any kind of empathy.
It is easy to think to yourself, “No one knows how I feel.” That may well be true except that God knows and He does care. But the same person who says, “No one knows how I feel,” is very quick to make the assumption that they know exactly how everyone else feels. It is easy to see this flaw in other people. It is very hard for me to see this flaw in myself.
We can learn from Ephraim that someone who feels entitled rarely feels happy. So, happiness is not something we attain by going after it. Happiness is something we bump into when we are doing what God made us to do, being who God made us to be, and serving other people.