We tend to neglect a particular character in the Christmas story. He is the porcelain figure that stands in the back of our nativity scene. He is the kid with no lines in the Christmas play. And yet he is a character that demonstrated just as great faith, strength, and dignity as Zacharias, Elisabeth or Mary did.
In Matthew 1:18-19, we are introduced to Joseph. The Bible tells us only a few critical details about this man. He, like Mary, had not asked for this part in the Christmas story. Just as surely as Mary’s had been, Joseph’s life was about to be radically rearranged.
Have you ever considered what it was like for Mary to tell Joseph about the miraculous life inside of her? The first person she told was her cousin Elisabeth and, in her, Mary had found an understanding and encouraging friend. Now, Mary was back from her months-long visit with Elisabeth. By now, she was probably showing. She had to tell Joseph. But how could Mary tell Joseph—the man she was betrothed to marry? How could she make him understand? Even though she believed in God, Mary was probably afraid to tell Joseph. I can imagine her pacing back and forth, rehearsing exactly the words she needed to say. Finally, taking a deep breath, she walked into Joseph’s carpentry shop and spoke the words. Maybe they didn’t come out as she’d practiced them. Maybe they were perfectly scripted. Either way, it couldn’t have been any easier for her to say them than it was for Joseph to hear them.
Again, I’m indulging my imagination here, but I wonder if, after hearing her words, Joseph took a few staggering steps back from Mary. Perhaps he put his hands up in astonishment as Mary’s eyes welled with tears. “Do you believe me?” she may have asked. Perhaps Joseph said something like, “I think it would be best for you to leave. I need some time . . . to think this over.” Initially, all Joseph knew was that he was betrothed to a woman who was pregnant, and not by him. Mary had just told him that she was pregnant miraculously, as a virgin, because of the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit. Would you have believed that the first time you heard it? It is one thing to accept the virgin birth in retrospect as we read it in Scripture. But this wasn’t a Scripture reading for Joseph. This was his life!
What Joseph was asked to believe and to do was no small thing. While he was not chosen to physically carry the Christ child, Joseph was asked to be the legal father of a child that was not his own. Yet we see from Joseph’s response that he was just the right match for Mary. God knew what He was doing when He put them together. Like Mary, and much like the Joseph of Genesis, this Joseph was a person of durable character that could survive the storms of God’s testing. We see this in two decisions that Joseph made.
First, we see Joseph’s godly character in his initial response to Mary. Matthew 1:18-19 says, “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.” Matthew 1:19 says that Joseph was a “just man.” Joseph’s responses to Mary was that he wanted to do the right thing by her. Based on the information he had at first, Joseph knew that the right thing to do would be to break off his engagement with Mary. Now, this was not an easy decision. This kind of engagement was not the kind of engagement we have in modern America (those are hard enough to break off). This kind of engagement was basically as binding as marriage. Breaking off this engagement looked more like divorce than a break-up. In other words, this decision would cause much emotional suffering for the two parties involved (Mary and Joseph) as well as much embarrassment for the others involved (their respective families).
Many people in Joseph’s position probably would’ve done the right thing according to the laws of that day. But Joseph did not just want to do the right thing by Mary. He wanted to do the right thing in the right way. Matthew 1:19 also says that Joseph was “not willing to make her a public example” and “was minded to put her away privily.” Under the laws of his day, Joseph could have made her a public example. He could have allowed all the shame to fall on Mary and her family. That could have been considered the right thing. But there was another option, another “right thing,” that would bring the least embarrassment for Mary. The fact that Joseph wanted to do the right thing in the right way shows he must have really loved Mary. He did not react to her in a vindictive way which, based on the information he had initially, would have been justified by the laws of that time. Rather, Joseph reacted to her in a way that was right but also gracious.
Still, the weight of this decision was heavy on Joseph’s heart. He knew that the right thing (lawfully) was to break off the engagement, but he wasn’t ready to commit to a decision yet. He was still thinking about his options, likely weighing the “right thing” against his feelings for Mary. And it was at this critical moment that God once again dispatched an angel to appear to Joseph in a dream. In Matthew 1:20-21, the angel gives Joseph the details that had already been given to Mary: “Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.” The angel goes on to explain how this child is the promised Messiah of prophecy.
We also see Joseph’s godly character in his response to God. Matthew 1:24 records Joseph’s response, “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife.” Once Joseph had received more information from God, he simply believed and obeyed God. Much like Mary did, Joseph simply took God at his word when it was revealed to him. Mary had said, “Be it unto me according to thy word,” and Joseph “did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him.”
The Joseph of the Christmas story is quite similar to the Joseph of Genesis. Both had their lives drastically rearranged. Both had great reasons for bitterness and great opportunities for revenge. Of course, in the latter Joseph’s case, he had not been wronged. But he probably thought he had been at first! Yet Joseph adjusted his thoughts and actions when he received more information from the Lord. As it had the Joseph of Genesis, “the word of the LORD tried him” (Psalm 105) and Joseph passed the test admirably.
From Joseph’s story, we can take two challenges. We can consider how we respond to other people’s actions or perceived actions toward us. Joseph wasn’t like a character out of a Hallmark movie who let a little assumption or misunderstanding govern his decisions. Neither should we! How we respond reveals what is in our hearts—the motivation behind our choices. Are we doing the “right thing” out of a heart of bitterness or a spirit of vengeance? Or are we seeking to do the right thing in the right way? If people like the two Joesphs above could do the right thing in a spirit of love and graciousness, then we can too. Whatever has happened in your life, whatever anyone has done to you, God can strengthen you to do the right thing in the right way just as He did for Joseph.
Additionally, we can consider our response to God when He reveals more information to us. As Joseph’s story demonstrates, God does not give us the entire plan all at once. He reveals His will to us a step at a time. Are we willing to accept God’s will for us as He reveals it to us? Can we say like the psalmist, “Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; therefore I shall not slide. Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.” (Psalm 26:1-2) Joseph is an example of someone who walked in integrity—who was honest with himself, with others, and with God. When the word of the Lord tried him, his heart was revealed to be trusting in God. Just like Mary, Joseph simply took God at His Word about the miracle of the virgin birth. If Joseph could accept God’s rearrangement of his life, surely, we can accept God’s rearranging of ours. The way we respond to God’s rearranging our lives reveals the true character of our hearts as well.