Philemon 19 I Paul have written it with mine own hand, I will repay it: albeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besides
Growing up, my mom taught us very diligently to be thankful. She taught us specific things we should do, like write thank-you cards to people who had done us some kindness. We were trained to be thankful and to do thankful things. Occasionally, I will do something kind for someone else and a week later I think, “I don’t think they ever thanked me.” Oftentimes, I will suddenly remember someone who had done me a kindness whom I had forgotten to thank, and I think, “Oops!” Recently, I thought about something someone did for me twenty years ago. I think I thanked them, but I almost felt embarrassed because whatever I did, I’m sure I should have been more thankful than I was.
Sometimes we are occupying the moral high ground when instead we should feel gratitude. Would you rather feel grateful for something someone has done for you or occupy the high ground because you have done something for someone else who forgot to thank you?
The book of Philemon is a letter Paul wrote to a man, Philemon, who was a believer and had a slave, Onesimus, who stole from him and ran away. Onesimus bumped into Paul who led him to the Lord and then sent him back to Philemon with this letter. It is easy to miss the entire point of Philemon because instead of realizing that God has been gracious to us and that we should be grateful instead of entitled, we think, “As a slaveholder what right would Philemon have to get his money back and to expect Onesimus to come back to him?” Now, there may be some truth to that, but it is missing the point.
The point is that we are the ones in debt. We are the ones who should be grateful. In verse 17 Paul says, “If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself.” He was sending
Onesimus back, not as he was before, but as a brother. Paul is saying, “When you receive him, I’m asking you, Philemon, that you would receive him just as you would receive me.” Verse 18 says, “If he [Onesimus] hath wronged thee, or oweth thee ought, put that on mine account.”
H.A. Ironsides used to preach this text, and it is a perfect picture of what the Lord Jesus did for us. We are sinners deserving judgment, but Jesus said to the Father, “Put that on mine account.” He died on the cross for our sins, was buried, rose again, and offers grace to any who will receive it.
Then, in verse 19 Paul is essentially a velvet-covered brick. Paul says, “I Paul have written it with mine own hand, I will repay it: albeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besides.” Paul says, “Hey, take Onesimus back as a brother. I know you will do this because you are a great guy, but by the way, I won’t even mention that you wouldn’t even know Christ if not for my witness.” That is an understated sentiment that Paul gives.
The bottom line is, do you feel like you occupy the moral high ground or do you feel grateful? Paul was saying, “Philemon, you’ve been forgiven by God.” Paul knew that he himself had been given grace by God. Who was he not to be gracious? Gracious people live in light of God’s grace to them. They are gracious because they have been graced.
I think about a friend who came to the Bill Rice Ranch a few years ago. He stayed in my travel trailer for the week as a guest at the Ranch. We had him for dinner a time or two. I remember thinking that week, “I’ve been very kind,” and then I thought about why I felt that way. I felt that way, not because of my graciousness, but because of the graciousness of my friend. He was overflowing with gratitude.
The same week there was another good person at the Ranch, but I felt cranky toward them and felt that they were cranky. I learned from this that cranky people make you feel cranky and gracious people make you feel gracious. You are not being gracious; you are receiving the graciousness of someone who is gracious. So, gracious people are people who live in light of God’s grace to them.
In the first place, you are freed. The very first words of this epistle are “Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ.” Paul was an apostle and an authority, but he didn’t say that. He begins by realizing who he was. Because God had been gracious to him, Paul was gracious to those in his world. So, you are freed. You don’t serve sin; you serve Christ.
Second, God is our Father. In verse 3 he says, “Grace to you, and peace from God our Father.” Who has the right to say that God is their Father? Who was Philemon, as good or bad as he may have been, to call God Father? Well, none of us have the right to call God our Father by any work that we have done. It is by the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. So, when I realize I have been freed and God is my Father, it allows me to be gracious to other people.
Third, others are fellows. Paul calls various people in this epistle fellow laborers, brother beloved, fellow prisoners. Paul was a man of authority, a preacher, and an apostle. We are to give honor where it is due, yet there is a sense in which Philemon and Onesimus were fellows.
Have you ever done someone a kindness and they forget to thank you and it instantly makes you feel morally superior? Or maybe you do something good and you are glad people don’t know because you can forever hold it over their head as if you are morally superior. Have you ever forgotten to thank someone? If you have, you may not even know it because you forgot, yet people can forget to thank us and we feel morally superior.
So, we need to watch out when people have done us wrong and when people have forgotten to do what is right. Friend, we are all sinners, and anyone who is in God’s favor is there because of the work of Jesus Christ. We have been given grace and we are to give grace. We all need mercy and grace, and gracious people live in light of God’s grace to them.