Genesis 29:25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? Wherefore then hast thou beguiled me
Summer is the time of weddings and wedding bells. Perhaps you have gotten a wedding invitation from someone you know recently. I came home yesterday and there was an invitation. My first thought was that someone was graduating. Then, to my shock I found out that my friend was getting married. I marvel at all the children that are getting married. Now, they are not really children. I am just getting older.
Genesis is largely the story of weddings, husbands and wives and families, as they build a tribe and a nation through which all the nations of the world will be blessed. For instance, Genesis 26:34-35 says, “And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebekah.” This is simply telling us of these ladies whom Esau married and that were a grief to Isaac and Rebekah. In Genesis 27:46, Rebekah said to Isaac, “I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do to me?” Here are parents who were interested in whom their son married, and indeed this was important because this is the family line through which God would send the Savior for both Jew and Gentile, the Lord Jesus Christ.
So, Jacob leaves home, works for Laban, falls in love with his daughter Rachel, and promises to work seven years for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Wouldn’t you know, Laban tricked Jacob. Laban gave Leah, the older sister of Rachel, to Jacob instead of Rachel, the woman whom Jacob loved. Genesis 29:25 says, “In the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this that thou hast done unto me? did I not serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore hast thou beguiled me?” There is so much here we won’t get into, but we find out that he was deceived.
Can you imagine being married to your sister-in-law? You may love your sister-in-law, but can you imagine being married to her? That is what happened to Jacob, except he wasn’t married to his sister-in-law; he was married to his wife and the woman he loved was his sister-in-law. Things only got more complicated after this. The notable thing is Jacob’s question, “Wherefore hast thou beguiled me?” How could you possibly deceive me? Why would anyone deceive poor old Jacob? He was honest, sincere, always straightforward. Well, not quite. He was himself a deceiver and trickster, a man who got what he wanted by hook or by crook, and now that had been turned back upon him. Let me tell you, you don’t leave your problems, you scale them to your people. A lot of times we try to run away from our problems and we end up growing them for the people in our lives.
For instance, here is a guy who is tired of obeying dad and mom. He wants to do his own thing. He says, “When I grow up, I am going to join the Marines and no one is going to tell me what to do ever again.” That may sound simple and silly, but that happens all the time. People think that.
Here is a young lady who thinks, “My home, mom and dad, and their marriage are miserable. I can’t wait to get out of this house, marry, and start my own family.” The problem is that if there is a heart of rebellion and things are not quite right in her heart, she is only going to take her problems with her and scale them to her marriage. That is exactly what Jacob did when he left his home for another.
So, you don’t leave your problems. You grow them for the people in your world. I have three suggestions. First, start where you are. Don’t flee your problems. Start where you are. Are you a child, a roommate, a spouse, a parent? You are not going to be ready to go to the next stage in life as you should be if you do not take care of where you are right now. Jacob was ready to start a new family and home, but he took the problems with him. So, start where you are. Do what is right, right now, and that will help you be where you ought to be in the future.
Second, don’t burn bridges. You don’t know what bridges you might need. In Genesis 28:20 Jacob vowed a vow saying, “If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on, so that I come again to my father’s house in peace; then shall the LORD be my God.” Did he ever go back to his father’s house again? He was somewhat reconciled with Esau later on, but there is a sense in which he never went home again. So, start where you are and do what is right with the situation you have right now. Then, don’t burn your bridges. You might need to cross those bridges again.
Third, live without regrets. Are you a son, husband, dad, or in-law? We kind of get static. You know you are young if you only see yourself in one category and never consider that you might be in another position at some point. I’ve been a son-in-law for many years now. All of a sudden, I am also a father-in-law. So, believe me, I thought about how I treat my father-in-law knowing that someone is going to treat me as a father-in-law. All my life I have been a son. It is important how I am as a son because now I have a son and I am the father. In other words, our positions are not static and I can’t be treated the way I wish to be treated or be the person I wish to be in the future if I am not doing what I ought to do right now.
So, don’t try to flee your problems. Ask God to give you grace to face and tackle them and follow God in obedience to a life you can scale to the people who are ahead of you. Start where you are. Don’t burn your bridges. Live without regrets because you don’t leave your problems, you scale them to your people.