Proverbs 5:18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth
I’ve got a few questions as we look at Proverbs today. They get progressively harder, although all the questions have answers that are hidden in plain view. In other words, you probably know the answers. If you have read the book of Proverbs, you can easily find them.
First, what is the one word and overarching theme of Proverbs? The answer is wisdom. Proverbs 1:2 says, “To know wisdom,” and from here on we are off to the races about wisdom, whatever it is and however it comes.
Second, from whom does wisdom come and to whom is it given in the first seven chapters of Proverbs? Although God is ultimately the source of wisdom, in the first seven chapters of Proverbs wisdom is given from a father, or parents more generally. Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” Proverbs 2:1 says, “My son…” Proverbs 3:1 says, “My son…” Proverbs 4:1 says, “Hear, ye children.” The first verse of chapters 5, 6, and 7 all say, “My son…” It is directed from a father to a son. That is very obvious.
Third, when a dad and mom give wisdom to offspring, what is this wisdom about? About what are the children warned? There may be a number of answers, but if you look at what follows almost immediately on the heels of the address to “my son,” the primary reason is the strange woman. Proverbs 2:16 says, “To deliver thee from the strange woman.” It is saying, “My son, listen to my words, receive my wisdom.” Why? It is to deliver him from the strange woman. This is found in many other places. Proverbs 6:24 says, “To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.” Proverbs 7:5 says we are to keep the words of father and mother that “they may keep thee from the strange woman.”
So, very specifically in the context of a home and family, specifically father to son, the central danger being addressed is the strange woman. Now, strange does not mean weird. She is defined by her exclusion from the family. She isn’t your wife. She doesn’t belong to you, so she is not part of the family. Then why would this be a central theme of the first several chapters of Proverbs, specifically in the context of a home? It is because this is a central threat to a family. In Proverbs 5:9-11 this becomes very clear. It says, “Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; and thou mourn at the last.”
If what is in view here is wisdom generally, the home specifically, and the threat most specifically, then the answer is wisdom about this threat. It could be a man or a woman. It is addressed to a son about the strange woman in particular, but the point is no one outgrows a family. Let me just say that God can bring forgiveness and restoration no matter what is in our past and none of us have families as good as we would like to have, but we can all have the help that God provides if we have humility of mind and obedience of heart. The point is God has provided each generation of every family precisely what it needs to protect and perpetuate that family.
So, in Proverbs 5 in particular, fully one half of the Proverb is addressed to the wisdom of the father or parents, and the second half is addressed to the love of a wife. So, a young man is protected and his family is perpetuated by the wisdom of parents. A married man is protected by the love of a wife.
Verse 15 says, “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.” This is an analogy, and the rest of the chapter is very direct about the wife of thy youth. What is a wife? She is God’s protection and perpetuation for your family. This is not to say that everyone is supposed to be married. Whatever God wants is what matters, but the point is the love of a wife protects a married man. Your wife might say, “I don’t know if you should watch that” or “Are you going out again?” or “I have a feeling about that woman.” You say, “I am the man of the house!” You may be, but God has given you that wife. You might say, “She is not a wise woman.” Well, you married her so she is God’s means of protection and perpetuation for your home and family. That is important. A man would be foolish to ignore the help that God provides through his wife.
What about women and their husbands? That obviously follows, but God is specifically talking to a young man about his wife. This is applied to wives listening to their husbands. What about someone not yet married? Well, you never outgrow family, government, or church, so whatever your answer to how you are to treat your parents, it may be informed by age, but it has to be primarily informed by something that is not going to change.
So much of what we teach about the way offspring respond to their parents is modern cultural norms. It is subjective and not absolute as are the institutions that God created like the government, home, and church. Are those institutions perfect? No! But the concept of perpetuating the home is something that God has ordained. So, the Bible says, “My son, attend unto my wisdom.” Protection for a young man is not in that he understands everything; it is that he has parents who give him guidance. A young man is protected by the wisdom of a father, not by his own wisdom, and it is to the end that he may develop wisdom for himself.
So, God has provided every generation of each family precisely what it needs to protect and perpetuate that family. For a married man, it is the love of his wife. For an unmarried young man, it is the wisdom of his parents. The question you should consider is, “To what extent are you cooperating with the institutions God has created?” You may have questions, but you have a Bible, a brain, and the Holy Spirit if you are saved. Look at Proverbs 1-7 and think through what God has said. God has given us people and institutions in our lives for a purpose. I need to have a submissive and humble spirit to help me make important what God calls important because God has provided every generation what it needs to protect and perpetuate that home.