Biblical Etiquette 101

Luke 14:11, 13-14 “For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted….But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind; And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.”

At Christmas time, we often find ourselves in the midst of several different social gatherings. If you’re like me, the first person you naturally think of when you walk into that crowded room is you-where can I go, or who can I talk to that will make me feel the most comfortable or that has something to offer me? Yes, Christmastime is a great revealer of human nature!

This passage in Luke gives us direct instructions on how we should act at a social function, both as the invitee and as the inviter. Let’s take a look at the part addressed to the invitee first: “When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room. . . .” Of course, some Jewish social customs are referenced here, but the main point of the verses is meant for us too. These verses warn us about automatically putting ourselves in the highest place possible at a social gathering. As Proverbs tells us, lifting yourself up in pride will only set you up for a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

Now look at what we should do when we come into that crowded room: “But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher. . . .” (verse 10) Seek out the lowest place; in other words, think of others before yourself. And, as this verse tells us, when you set yourself at the lowest place, you can only go up. Why? Verse 11 says, “For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.” The Lord blesses those that think of others before themselves.

As the guest at a social gathering, make it a point to turn the spotlight away from yourself and toward others. Look to be a blessing to those around you rather than only thinking of what is best for you. You will be surprised how the Lord can use you to be a blessing in that crowded room-but only if you are willing to take the lowest place!

Now, what does the Lord have to say to the inviter at a social gathering? “When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbors; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.” How often we live our lives for recompence (payback)! When we are wronged, we want to “wrong them back.” But the opposite is true as well. We can get caught in the trap of only doing good to those who can pay us back.

The Lord says to not reach out to those who can return the favor to you in the form of friendship, money, or other payback. Instead, He says to purposely invite those that could not recompense you (the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind). The Lord is making the same point that He made to the invitee: think of others before yourself!

When you reach out to those who cannot recompense you, the Bible says “Thou shalt be blessed….” Who will bless you if they can’t? God will! So it all comes down to a matter of faith. Are you willing to consciously put others before yourself, trusting that God will use you and will reward you for your obedience? Follow the example of our Lord, and give yourself for others. When you do so, even a social gathering can become a place of ministry and blessing!