II Samuel 13:1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
Years ago, when you went to a commercial carwash, especially a do-it-yourself carwash, the carwash would only accept its own tokens. So, you would put a five-dollar bill into their machine and it would spit out these tokens that looked a lot like quarters but were not legal tender. They were only good for that carwash. I can’t tell you how many times I would be searching in my car for a quarter for some other purpose and realize that what I thought was a quarter was only a crazy carwash token. What a disappointment!
You know, a counterfeit is just that. It is inadequate. It is insufficient. It is a sorry copy of the real thing. That is true in currency and in life. You will never build a rich life on counterfeits. That is what comes to my mind when I read the story of Amnon in II Samuel 13.
II Samuel 13:1 says, “And it came to pass after this [the sin of David against Bathsheba and Uriah], that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.”
Let’s talk about some background. First, it is important to keep in mind that the whole story of Amnon is part of a bigger story about Absalom, and the story of Absalom is part of a bigger story about David. David is part of a bigger story about Israel the nation, and Israel itself is part of God’s wonderful story of sending the Lord Jesus through Mary in time to come. That is the reason this is in the Bible. It is all about Jesus, which means Israel, which means David, which comes down to Absalom and Amnon.
The second thing is, just parenthetically, how confusing polygamy is. There are numerous references to David’s children by different wives, and it very quickly gets confusing. It made for a very confusing life for David and for his family.
The third observation is that the story we find here has many tragic and uncanny parallels to the story of David’s sin in II Samuel 11-12.
Having said all that, the Bible says, “Amnon the son of David loved her.” The “her” was his half-sister, also Absalom’s full sister, Tamar. Now, what you read here is that Amnon loved Tamar and he had a friend name Jonadab. The fact is Amnon did not have love and he did not have a friend. He had counterfeits for both of those things.
For instance, if you want to know exactly what is meant when the Bible says that Amnon “loved” his sister Tamar, look at the words that describe this love in the following verse. It says, “And Amnon was so vexed.” He was tormented. This is not about love, how he can bless her. It is about himself. It continues, “That he fell sick for his sister Tamar.” We are not talking about someone who wanted to be a help to other people. He was a man consumed with self.
The Bible says, “And Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.” Look at those words meant to describe his love. You don’t have to dig into the Hebrew to figure this out. He was vexed, he was sick, and he was wondering what he could do to her. We are not talking about love but a counterfeit for real, self-sacrificing love.
Then, verse 3 famously says, “But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab.” The Bible says of Jonadab that he was “a very subtil man.”
What comes of this is that Amnon shames Tamar. He forced her. Then it says that he hated her, which if you were in any doubt at all tells you what his love meant in verse 1. It wasn’t love; it was selfishness.
Absalom then waited two full years and murdered Amnon. This destruction foretold by the prophet Nathan was tragically coming to pass. Jonadab, this so-called friend who told Amnon how he could get his way by deception, has the gall to tell David when he heard a false report that all of his sons had been murdered, “Well, Absalom has been planning on this for two years now. And don’t worry about it, because it is only Amnon who is dead.”
We are saying that Amnon did not love his sister and Jonadab was not a friend to Amnon, but in both cases Amnon thought he had love and he thought he had a friend. How tragic to go through life and find out all too late that what you have is not real; it is counterfeit!
Incidentally, Amnon was the first in line and the first in the way to a kingship for Absalom. All that to say that neither the people nor the passions that lead you to do wrong are your friends. May God give all of us the wisdom to know the difference between being selfish and having a heart of love, between having a true friend and simply someone who wants to facilitate all that is wrong in our heart and in our life.