Who do you want your child to be in twenty years? What can you actually do today to shape their tomorrow?
Time is short. Don’t be passive. Here are five ways to be a proactive parent:
1. Don’t ask; tell. Give your children freedom by giving them direction. Let’s listen in on some parents, each with a pre-schooler.
“Josh, do you want to thank the Lord for the meal?”
“Jenna, do you want to sit next to Grandma?”
“Haley, would you like some green beans?”
Even our directions can end with a question seeking a child’s approval, as in, “Seth, it’s time for lunch, ok?”
A parent that does this may be putting the pressure of responsibility on a child barely old enough to know the difference between up and down! Now is the time to show them how to make decisions by making them.
“Josh, you will sit by Grandma, Daddy will say the blessing, then we are going to enjoy some delicious green beans!”
2. Don’t respond; act. One sign that a parent has slipped into the muck of passivity is that the only actions he takes are reactions to what his child has initiated.
How often do we reply to a child with a “No” compared to guiding him with a “Yes”? All brakes and no steering wheel will get you nowhere fast!
3. Don’t wait; anticipate. Suppose that you are at church Sunday morning. You know who you will see, what they will say, and what will happen.
Rehearse it in your mind, then rehearse it with your child. “Jack, when we go into church, Pastor is going to say ‘Good morning’ and ask you how you are doing.” Then help Jack know what to say and do before he says and does it.
The last thing I tell my youngest before getting out of our Mountaineer at church is, “Weston, remember: look up, speak up, smile.” Weston and I both need a game plan. Make it short, memorable, actionable, and habitual.
4. Don’t endure; ask. “Wil, you need some help with your toddler.” This was hard to hear but it was true. And it preceded the advice I would have received months earlier if I had taken the initiative to ask for it.
Ask for help from someone whose authority is the Bible and whose life is the proof. If you don’t know what to do, actively search.
5. Don’t accept; determine. Where will you end up if you follow your current habits to their logical destination? You can’t afford to drift anywhere, because no one ever drifted to success.
People who succeed at home chart a course and set sail. Determine where your child should in five minutes, five hours, five days, and five years.
Winston Churchill said, “History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” Write your own story as God gives you direction. Take heart, take action, and trust God!