Gratitude Is Born in Problems

Why is it so hard for kids to be thankful? All of us struggle with gratitude at times, but it is particularly artificial at times for children. In other words, they have to be taught to say thank you, to feel gratitude, to notice things for which to be grateful. They have to be trained to do that almost artificially. Why is that?

Does the five-year-old Walmart brat screaming and hollering at his mom have a reason to be angry? He is upset because he couldn’t get the candy he wanted. What reason does he have to be unhappy? He has no financial or physical problems that he knows of and is not worried about the future. I suppose a five-year-olds could have those worries, but most do not. All he is thinking is, “I want the candy. I don’t have it. I’m not happy.” He doesn’t have a reason to be angry compared to the problems he will have when he is old enough to be responsible.

On the other hand, I visited a dear friend in a rehab center not long ago. He has been there for a year. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw him, yet he was radiant. I’m sure he has had bad days and there are times he battles, but he had a genuine smile on his face and joy in his heart. Why? What reason does he have to be happy?

It is hard to be thankful when you have nothing to contrast it with. Psalm 30:1 says, “I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me.” He is saying, “God, I will lift You up because You have lifted me up. I will exalt You because You have lifted me up.” Lifted has the idea of drawing a bucket out of a well. He was saying, “I was in a deep pit and you lifted me out. I exalt God because He lifted me.” The difference between someone who has no experience and is not thankful and someone who does have experience and is thankful is contrast.

Psalm 30:2 says, “O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul.” So, I cried and you lifted. There is a contrast. In verse 5 you see a contrast between anger and favor, weeping and joy. In verse 11 you find a contrast between mourning and dancing and sackcloth and gladness. You see a contrast between the mountain where at times David stood and the pit from which he sometimes had to be lifted. In verse 10 you see a contrast between the sin he committed and the mercy he needed, and you see a contrast between the problems he had and the prayers he prayed. Verse 6 says, “And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved…thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.” All of that is experience that brings about a contrast between what could be and what is.

Maybe you are in a bad place right now. Well, there is a God and there is hope. So, when we tell an ungrateful, entitled child about the people starving in third-world countries, that is an abstraction to him. He doesn’t understand it. Yet the book of Psalms is almost formulaic in the sense that you see a problem, then a prayer, then praise. They go together. Gratitude comes from problems that are prayed about and then delivered from. Am I delivered from every problem I’ve ever had? No, I supposed not, but gratitude is born in problems. If there are no problems, there is no prayer. If there is no prayer, there is no answer. If there is no answer, there is no gratitude. You just live your life on your own.

It is hard for a child to be grateful. Truthfully, it is hard for any of us to be grateful and there is nothing wrong with teaching gratitude by rote, like, “Write your grandmother a thank-you for the gift she gave you for your birthday.” Sometimes it just takes experience to take a person from the entitlement that is natural to the gratitude of realizing things could be worse and have been worse. I prayed and God answered.

I visited a hospital in Johnstown, Ohio with a pastor friend of mine to visit a lady who needed the Lord. When I walked out of that hospital, I felt a genuine sense of gratitude, not because I am good, virtuous, or always thinking of the bright side. No, I’ve been in a hospital a couple of times far from home, and to go in a hospital and realize I don’t need to stay was amazing. Now my friend in the rehab is still in an institution very much like a hospital, but whatever your condition, you can contrast that to life without God. So, gratitude is born in problems.

There are two things to remember. First, don’t keep God out of your problems. Don’t go it alone. In verses 2 and 8 David said, “I cried….” He made supplication and prayed to God for help. In verse 9 he says, “What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth…have mercy.” He is saying, “I can’t praise and thank you if I am not here. God, help.”

Gratitude is born in problems. When everything is good and has never been anything but good, we don’t see a contrast between where we are and what we deserve. We are in a sin-cursed world. In this particular case, I think many of David’s problems were not a function of living in a generically sin-cursed earth, but were judgments for his own sins. He realized the answer was to turn to the God who was judging because that God loved him. So, don’t keep God out of your problems.

Second, don’t keep God out of your praise. It is amazing how many times we have a problem and pray, but when God answers, we rationalize it away and think it would have happened anyway. I can think of some major things in my life where I prayed, God gave a definite answer, and a year later I was thinking, “Well, would that have happened anyway?” That is no good. Don’t keep God out of your praise.

The upshot of this psalm is found in verse 12 where he says, “To the end that…” He states the purpose of his writing. The purpose is that “my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.” When you see a child throwing a fit in Walmart, realize that child doesn’t see the blessings because that child has never seen the problems. When you see a saint who is in a bad condition but has joy, realize that person sees God in their problems, prays, and acknowledges that God in their praise. Gratitude is born in problems. All of us face problems in life. None of us need face them alone or give credit to ourselves because there is a God who hears and answers.