II Chronicles 3:3a Now these are the things wherein Solomon was instructed…
Have you ever been the smartest person in the room? Yeah, me neither. Even when I was a counselor with elementary-age campers in my cabin at camp I don’t know if I ever felt like I was the smartest person in the room. I had some pretty clever junior campers in my day. The bottom line is that most of you haven’t and those who feel like they are the smartest person in the room probably are a menace and a little bit self-deceived.
Having said all of that, Solomon was a man who literally was the wisest ruler in any given room. Now Solomon was not just merely wise, he was wise in a specific way, he was given the wisdom to guide God’s people. David, his father, was a wonderfully wise man, but the Bible makes it very clear that there has never been a wiser ruler than Solomon.
So, who would ever give Solomon counsel and advice? To whom would Solomon ever listen? It would be kind of a miserable life if you were always the wisest person and you never had anyone to whom you could listen for instruction. Yet, II Chronicles 3:1 says, “Then Solomon began to build the house of the LORD at Jerusalem.” This was a magnificent temple and Solomon was the man who was leading in the construction of it. How did he build it? Verse 3 says, “Now these are the things wherein Solomon was instructed for the building of the house of God.” What follows is a lot of detail on the construction of the temple. The Bible says that “Solomon was instructed.” Who would have the gall to presume to instruct or advise Solomon? Well, his dad would.
In II Chronicles 2:7 Solomon says, “Whom David my father did provide.” David had provided provisions, people, and a blueprint for the temple. I Chronicles 28:11 says, “Then David gave to Solomon his son the pattern.” God gave it to David and David gave it to Solomon. You read of it several times in I Chronicles 28. Again, I Chronicles 28:19 says, “All this, said David, the LORD made me understand in writing by his hand upon me, even all the works of this pattern.” That is to say that David was not wiser than Solomon as a monarch, although he was a great monarch. David gave Solomon instruction none the less, in this case, instruction that God had directly given to him.
The larger point that we can all learn from whether you are a parent or a child is that you are never too old to be a parent or too wise to be a son. Here is King Solomon, the wisest ruler that ever lived, yet in Proverbs 31, by way of example, Solomon says that his mother gave him instruction. Even a king can fall to his vices and even a king can learn from his mother. King Solomon did both. Now, a parent’s relationship to his child and way of dealing with him does change with age, but I am still dad and my child is still my child. I have parents that are now grandparents and I have been a father myself for many years, but I still have not outgrown my privilege and obligation to honor my parents. So, there is obedience, honor, and counsel.
With regards to obedience, I am not longer accountable to my dad and mom the way I was when I was in their house, but I never outgrow my obligation to honor. One step beyond that is that I’m never too wise to receive counsel from my mom or dad. Parents aren’t perfect but they are still your parents and God has still put them in that position. So, you are left with several metrics by which to decide how to deal with children and parents.
One metric is maturity. Is there a point when a young person gets to such a point where you just say, “They no longer need a dad or mom”? Well, apparently Solomon never got to that point because he was following instructions his dad had given him even after his dad was dead. So, maturity is not authoritative enough. It is subjective. How do you determine when maturity has been reached and a child no longer needs a parent?
What we often do in our country is that at some arbitrary age, eighteen or twenty-one years of age, we say, “Hey, you’re 18. I’m not responsible for you anymore. Your life is on your head.” We kind of kick our kids to the curb. Now, I don’t think we should patronize them as if they were still little children, but we still have an obligation to be their parent. Eighteen is a modern American cultural norm. It may have some utility to it, but what authority does eighteen or twenty-one have? Just because someone can vote, drink, or drive does that mean they are no longer obligated to their parents?
There is another metric you might judge the relationship of a parent and child, and it is one to which you might object. You can think about it and see what the Bible says. It is marriage. The Bible says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.” At marriage a new authority structure is set up.
In Proverbs 5 you find that a young man is protected from adultery by the wisdom of a father, and a married man is protected from adultery by the love of his wife. In both cases it is the structure of the institution that God has established that protects. That is why this is very important, especially for a person who is out of the house but who has not established his own house. There is not a new authority structure.
You may be eighteen or twenty-one, but I believe authority comes by the institution that God has ordained — the home. So, while a twenty-five year old who is single may not have the same relationship with his parents that he had when he was five, there is authority from his parents that can protect and guide him in life.
The bottom line, for which we should study the Bible instead of depending on our feelings or our modern culture, is that you are never old to be a parent and you are never too wise to be a son.