In February, evangelical writer and speaker, Max Lucado apologized for a “disrespectful” sermon he preached in 2004 against homosexuality. This apology came after he had preached a sermon on the Holy Spirit as a guest at the Washington National Cathedral and members of the Episcopal Church started a petition asking for his invitation to be rescinded due to his 17-year-old sermon on homosexuality. In his apology, after saying that “faithful people may disagree about what the Bible says about marriage,” Lucado added that he still believed in “the traditional biblical understanding of marriage.”[1] In so doing, he made marriage a matter of biblical interpretation—“traditional understanding” vs. “contemporary interpretation.”
Like Lucado, some Christians have struggled to find their voice on the matter of marriage in the public sphere. No one wants to be painted as a bigot that hates people and stands in the way of “progress.” Often in this debate, Christians appeal to what we call the “traditional” definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman committed to each other for the protection and provision of any children born to them. However, this argument has often been pushed back against with statistics on the divorce rate among heterosexual couples or new evidence that children do not in fact need a mother and a father to enjoy a safe and secure home environment. While each of the counterarguments may be valid, they still miss the point. The debate is not over whether “traditional marriage” is better for society than “same-sex marriage.” The debate is over what marriage is in the first place.
How and why has the Church lost “moral authority” and influence in our society when it comes to the definition of marriage? The reason is that we have too often appealed to the authority of tradition, rather than the authority of “In the beginning, God created.” We have become agnostic about “what the Bible says about marriage.” If the Church is going to regain moral authority and maintain spiritual flourishing within its sphere as well as influence in the public sphere, we must accept the truth about “traditional marriage.”
The truth is that there is no such thing as traditional marriage. “Traditional” means “adhering to past practices or established conventions,” according to Merriam Webster. In other words, tradition is based on what humans in the past have established as normal or right. As you can imagine, traditions evolve as society evolves. If we accept the term “traditional marriage” then we will be more susceptible to changing our definition of marriage by trading one tradition for a newer one. For example, in some cultures, polygamy, one man married to many women, is considered “traditional marriage.” What may be “traditional” marriage in one culture, like India, may look very different than what “traditional” marriage may be in the United States. If tradition is our only qualifier for what marriage is, then who are we to say that one tradition is better than another? It doesn’t matter what repulses us personally or what is attractive to us personally. That is as fluid and fickle as popular culture. What we need is not tradition, but absolute truth. Jesus offers the truth about marriage in Matthew 19.
In Matthew 19, Jesus is approached by a group of Pharisees who want to trip him up with what they considered to be a “difficult” question. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” Their question touched on Moses’ law which allowed for divorce under very specific circumstances. Undaunted by the “for every cause” phrase, Jesus simply answered their question by reminding them what marriage was, by God’s definition. “Have ye not read,” Jesus replied, “that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4-6).
With about two sentences, Jesus put to rest the questions about any “tradition” or alternatives to marriage that man has ever created. What about homosexual “marriage”? Jesus says, “He which made them from the beginning made them male and female.” Why did he make them male and female? “For this cause shall a man cleave to his wife.” What about polyamory or polygamy? Jesus said, “And they twain shall be one flesh, wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh.” In other words, God’s formula for marriage is 1 + 1 = one flesh. No other variables are needed. In fact, if any other variables are added, then you will not come out with marriage at the end of the equation. Any tradition in any culture that does not align with God’s definition of marriage is, by definition, not marriage at all.
What we call “traditional marriage” has become an undervalued institution in American culture. According to a 2020 Gallup poll, 40% of Americans polled thought that marriage was “not too important” or “not important at all” for couples with children.[2] The results of this poll shows a 50% decline in Americans’ esteem of marriage since a similar Gallup poll taken in 2006.
Divorce has become its own tradition in American culture. After 1970, the divorce rate increased greatly with about 50% of American marriages ending in divorce. In the early 2000s, the divorce rate declined as marriage rates also declined.[3] America has the sixth highest divorce rate in the world, according to World Population Review. Divorce, confusion, and every perversion have either displaced tradition or become the new tradition in different places and times in our country. The point is that we can fall into the ditch on either side of the marriage issue if we make marriage a matter of tradition rather than truth.
As Christians, we must uphold God’s institution of marriage not as a tradition, but as truth. How can we expect our culture to value marriage when the Church doesn’t regard marriage as a matter of truth? The church must affirm that there is no such thing as traditional marriage—there is only marriage. When the church values marriage as God has defined it, then the culture will have a clear example of the truth. When the church rejects tradition in favor of truth, then the culture will have something to contrast with its confusion and chaos.
The world’s accusation that “traditional beliefs” often stand in the way of true love and progress is not completely off base. Rigid adherence to tradition can lead to pride, stubbornness, and bigotry. However, belief in the truth leads to true love—doing what is right by the people in our lives. While preaching should not be used to harm people of any community, the Word of God is a two-edged sword for the purpose of dividing truth from lies (Hebrews 4:12). Perhaps Mr. Lucado was right to apologize for the tone of his sermon against homosexuality, because we are always to accurately represent the truth in love. But Mr. Lucado should not have apologized for his sermon, and he should not have characterized his belief in marriage as “traditional biblical understanding.” Truth is not an interpretation or an understanding; it is absolute. Nature itself testifies to the fact that God created the Universe to operate on absolute truth. Truth, not tradition, is what makes love, marriage, and a flourishing society possible.
[1] Anugrah Kumar. “Max Lucado apologizes for past sermon on homosexuality after critics slam National Cathedral invitation,” The Christian Post, February 15, 2021, https://www.christianpost.com/news/max-lucado-apologizes-for-past-sermon-on-homosexuality.html.
[2] Theodore Bunker. “Gallup Poll: Americans View Marriage as Less Important”, Newsmax, December 28, 2020, https://www.newsmax.com/us/americans-marriage-poll-gallup/2020/12/28/id/1003344/.
[3] The Associated Press. “U.S. divorce rate falls to lowest level since 1970,” May 10, 2007, https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna18600304.