Have you ever met a family that was just refreshing to you? Chances are, they were genuine, happy to be themselves and happy to know you. Are you like that family? Are your kids happy?
As much as it scares me to say it, we don’t get what we want from our children; we get what we give. While children should obey and honor their parents, they will always follow their parents. Your children won’t follow what you think you are doing, they will follow what they see you are doing.
What you are actually doing will fall into one of two categories:
1. You will provide for your kids to grow in the Lord.
2. You will provoke your children to anger.
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) Literally, we are to “nourish them” in the nurture (training) and admonition (discipline) of the Lord.
What are some warning signs of children that are “stirred up” instead of “nourished up”? It is amazing, but sometimes we parents are the last ones to recognize when our children are:
1. Unthankful. Gratitude is not a natural response to having much; it is a trained perspective that parents should demonstrate and demand.
2. Unkind. I will never be genuinely kind when I am the first person about whom I am thinking. If I am selfish, sarcastic, or inconsistent, my kids will perceive that at a hundred yards in a thick fog! When my discipline of them is based on their good and not my own convenience, God blesses.
3. Unmotivated. If I am passive with my children, they will be indifferent toward God. Proactive parents don’t merely respond. They look at where they need to go and take action every day, beginning today. They are people of faith and action, not just hope or resignation.
My goal and desire is to be loved and respected most by my own family. If that happens, it will happen because I spend the most important and deliberate time in my day with the people who know me best. My family is God’s gift and my responsibility.