II Samuel 19:2 And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son.
Win Your Child
You know what it means to win a battle but loose the war, don’t you? If you are married, there have been many times perhaps when you have had an argument with your spouse where you won the fight but lost the war; things were really cold for some time to come. Maybe you have had the same experience with a child or coworker. It is a wretched thing to win a battle but loose the war. David was a man who was a mighty warrior, but a poor father. In II Samuel 18-19 we read about the war he had with his own son, an internal, family strife that became a civil war.
David received the news that Absalom had been killed on the orders of David’s own general, Joab. II Samuel 19:2 says, “And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son.” How tragic that David had won the fight but lost his son. David had subjects in the kingdom that obeyed him, but a son from his home who did not.
While there are many applications to this, let me apply it to one area that is closest to the text itself. How do we rear our children? How do you fight the battle that wins the war?
First, you need to start early. The Bible refers to Absalom numerous times as “the young man Absalom,” yet I would say that whatever the age of your children, “early” probably means even earlier than you think. If you have a child before you decide how to raise that child then you are a day late and a dollar short. You need to know these things ahead of time. This does not mean that you are a child-rearing expert, but it mean that you start your training early. David was fighting a rebel because he had not trained a son.
Secondly, start small. II Samuel 18:1 reminds us that David had thousands of people with him. Verse 7 tells us that there was a “great slaughter that day of twenty thousand men.” Start small. If you don’t do well with one child, then you could end up with major consequences that involve many people.
Thirdly, start close. Absalom once said when he was estranged from his father, “If I’ve done wrong, let my father kill me. If I haven’t, then let me see him.” An absent father is just a king; he is not a father, and he won’t keep his kids subject for long. The sooner you join the battle, the less likely it is that you will be fighting a war. Start early, start small, and start close.
Here at the Ranch, we have children who ride horses that can be over 1,000 pounds. How does a child have control over such a big horse? The answer is that we start training that horse when he is young, weak, and helpless. Imprint a horse when he is young so that he can be useful and wise when he is old. It is better to win your child than to live in constant need of winning a fight. May God give you the wisdom you need; He certainly will when you ask.